Most recently I started a performance series called ‘Brunch & R&Being’. I wanted an outlet to share some music while we’re all under the constraints of ‘Da Rona’!! Whew. I felt like the walls were closing in and all this anxiety was starting to creeping in. Singing gives me great peace or my worst days and immeasurable joy on my best. It really is just an innate part of my being - a treasured gift from God.
Yet and still I’ve been fighting off a bit of melancholy and realized that I missed being .. literally being myself out in the world. I miss breathing in fresh air without a mask. I miss wearing makeup - especially bright colors of lipstick that celebrate spring weather. I miss putting on fly azz outfits and looking at other fashionistas or dapper gentlemen from across the room and ...thinking that’s a hawt azz 'fit! I miss sliding thru the party to see my friends and PHAM and floating on their smiles. I miss hugs. I really love hugs!!! And I ain’t getting no hugs!!! NO. HUGS. Rona sorry azz done ruined hugs!! Rona ain’t $&@! I mean not $&@! This ragelly azz disease is affecting how I move and it’s not cool.
I believe who I am and how I show up in the world should always be evolving. But what I am mainly struggling with that certain things will never be the same. How we relate to one another, how we co-exist in spaces... will all be different. I feel like we were starting to connect generically like only via quick texts, social media posts, before COVID-19. Now that there is a legitimate reason to distance ourselves ...how will we find our way back to one another? I joke a lot about not being able to ‘people’ sometimes. Not everyone respects personal space and as an only child, I’m hella big on personal space and time. But being in this big universe is always better when I’m experiencing others in their most authentic state.
There’s song by Hezekiah Walker called “I Need You to Survive”. “You need me. I need you. We’re all apart of God’s family...” It’s true. As human beings it’s part of our nature to want to connect with others. I’m really hoping that when we get to other side of raggelly ‘Rona, that we’ll remember the importance of sharing spaces, times, smiles and hugs. Lots of hugs. Most importantly I really hope we never take being for granted again.