~May 12, 2015
That’s the story of life right? To keep going when obstacle after obstacle keeps interrupting the master plan you have for your life. Who doesn’t have an issue they would rather not be dealing with? Yet we go on. As an artist, a lot of things are subject to how we feel, what we’re in the mood/space/moment to create. So obviously our creative output can be affected if we’re not creating it under the best of circumstances. So, I got to thinking…how and why do I continue to sing, make music, write … try to exist in this unstable industry at one of the least secure periods of my life? For me it’s simple, why I CONTINUE to do anything is in direct correlation to why I started doing it in the first place. As I look for employment so I can finance my life and my music, I remember I continue because I have to.
I sing because I HAVE TO. I’m very clear that God has given me a very special gift. He uses my talent to impact others. Often times, when I’m called upon to share my gift, I’m already exhausted. No lie. It just happens that way. I’m generally hoping that I don’t sound as tired as I feel lol. The stage is the destination so by the time I arrive there I’ve traveled many roads. Most likely I’ve been to work [when I had a 9-5], dealt with some ‘special’ people i.e. co-workers, rude Metro riders, random people during my commute, another Metro ride, more rude people, traffic, rehearsals, different temperaments, traveled to said gig, done my hair and/or makeup in the car, at work or in a suspect venue’s bathroom <===== *side eye* and then I go to rock the mic. So at this point, I’m like Jesus, be the notes, some energy, a pleasant expression and the right key! However, I still keep doing it because I know that it’s my calling… my commission, if you will.
To stay focused on my commission, I talk to God a lot. I sing when I don’t get booked for the gig I wanted. I sing on days when I’m tired. I listen to the music of other artists — independent and signed, to be reminded of what is possible if I don’t give up. I try to support other artists, by posting their show flyers or links to their music and by supporting THEIR shows. I let other artists know how much I appreciate the sharing of their gift with ME. I BUY music. And honestly, it’s not because I’m so great…always cheerful, handing out lollipops, a proverbial ray of sunshine who has it altogether. I do it simply because it’s good to do and I don’t trip on other people’s success. I feel like if you win, I win. Good music is good music. I don’t care who’s making it as long as it’s bomb. I’m not really threatened by other folx’s success because for real there’s only one Wendy Mc. I’ma do what I do and those who dig it - will. *mic drop* We can call shine so I don’t have to feel like we’re competing. I mean somebody might be, but I only generally compete with myself. I’m just trying to be a better version of myself than I was the last time. *shrug*
In the ‘industry’ there can be disappointments, lots of ‘no’s’, a lack of call backs. I’ve learned that creating the opportunities you wish for makes the ‘no’ ministry a lot easier to take. Also if I’m working on my craft and putting my time into my brand and my projects then I’m busy preparing. If I’m busy preparing, I’m not paying attention to the fact that you aren’t calling lol. Cause I’m busy ….working so that when I get a call or when the concept I’ve created goes from idea to execution…I’m on point.
The other thing I’m working on is visionary aspect of this thing. In my head I know exactly how this whole journey is supposed to play out. And also in my head there are other people who know without me saying anything…what needs to happen for this vision to become reality. In real life, where the real people live, you have to communicate and you have to open yourself up to people with the skills and personality traits that you don’t have. I’m unfortunately a lone ranger by nature and by birth. The only child struggle is real. Trusting people with something important to me is hard. I’m getting better but I’m light years away from the point complete evolution in this area. However, assembling a team or as my Soror says “a board of directors” is key. I have some trusted people on my support team but going forward I’ll need a team of experts along with “my A1 since Day 1 crew”. Really successful people don’t try to do it all. They leverage the talents of others to create something that makes everyone involved stronger and more prepared to go forward and do even greater things.
And since I’m keeping it #1hunnit, I’ll say some days it’s hard and I’m over it. Sometimes, I’m just not having a good day and I’m sure if this record is gonna get finished. Some days I’m down. Some days, I’m two seconds from breaking on somebody who said something rude, was unprofessional or otherwise getting on my dayum nerves. I have to talk to myself in my Kevin Hart voice “No, no…..don’t [insert ignorant thing I’m about to say or do.]” and keep it moving. And on more times than I would prefer, despite my best effort - sometimes the notes just don’t come out right and they’re flat, sharp or downright turlbo (terrible). I remind myself to do the best I can with the moment I’m in. Prayerfully, tomorrow is another day to try again and get it right.